Emily, Our light and our love

                         Please download the rememberance booklet for more images and the service notes.

 

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for the incredible support that Sarah, Lucy, Alex, Jonny and I have received over the past couple of weeks. It has helped us enormously to know how many people have been deeply affected by what has happened. I know that everyone here today has been completely devastated by the death of Emily. As a family, and by that I mean all of you here - as our extended family, we miss and grieve for her in a way that is impossible to describe to anyone who has not experienced this. Especially as she has been taken away from us in such a cruel and unnecessary way.

To me it seems unreal, still, to stand here today, running through Emily's life achievements. It has been such a short year since her 21st birthday - a magical weekend that so many of you attended. But it is an honour to do this, as a testament to her:

To all that knew Em in her early years, she was a huge 'bright light' with an old head on her very broad shoulders. I know that I leaned on her, from time to time, far too hard sometimes in those early years, but she was able to soak this up in an extraordinary way. I remember her as the person, at the age of 8, who was able to organize Alex and Lucy to ensure that everything was 'done correctly'. I well remember our frequent trips to Twycross Zoo. Em would always sit in the front seat, after checking that Alex and lucy were correctly strapped in the back. She would then ensure that sandwiches and drinks were handed out at the correct time - and was always telling one of them off for spilling a drink or dropping their food, in her unique "Emily" way.

She had the head of a 28 year old - not an 8 year old. Also the memories of trying to get everyone to bed on a Sunday night we will never forget. Em would get so cross that Lucy would not get in her own bed and kept crawling in with her. It sometimes went on for hours. Em also spent lots of time with her elder brother and adored him when they were both little. This incredibly strong relationship with her brother and sister lasted all of her life on this earth - they are both missing her immensely and will need so much help from their friends - and I am sure they will get it. I also know that Sarah has many wonderful stories to tell about their special times together, both at home and their many happy holidays in Spain. This is where Em developed her love of Spain and the Spanish language, which she took through to A Level and was fluent in.

Emily went to Alice Ottley school, where she made a huge impression on everyone she met - young and old alike, with her ability to work and play hard, but also to be sensitive and responsive to other peoples needs. She developed an intimate group of very close friends at AO, Kings and The Grammar, and so many of you are here today. Her passion for sport showed through at AO - the many happy hours that we spent on the lacrosse playing fields in Worcester we will never forget. Em is also a talented artist - something that not many people will be aware of. There is a story about Em that I would like to tell you about to do with her art. Alex, Emily and Lucy were all very much 'hands on' when we were building Valley House - they did not have a lot of choice! One day Emily went to her Art class a little late, and they were going to use Filler guns that day to paint with. When her teacher chose Em to show the class how it worked, Emily said she did not need any help, as she had been spending the weekend using the same type of gun to fill holes around the skirting board. I still don't know what the teaching staff at AO must have thought of us! Anyway, her paintings will be part of our life forever. There is no doubt that Emily excelled at school both academically and in sport.

So then Em took her A Levels, and decided to go to Swansea University - a decision in her life of which we are very happy about, because this is were she met many fantastic people ,most of whom are here today. Em had a great University career. From the start she decided enjoy it to the full, making friends and becoming involved in lots of activities with lots of different people! She was determined to make it a great time of her life. Lets look at what she achieved: great exam results from the start. The setting up of the women's lacrosse team in the second year of the course, and captaining the team in the third year. And finally at the end of 3 years getting a 1st class Honours degree in Law - one of only 2% of law students in the country. And again a part of what Em is to all of us came out in this. I will never forget her phoning to tell us how she had done. She had looked down the 2.1 list first, and not seen her name. She then moved to the 2.2 list, and again did not see her name, and thought she had failed. Finally she went to her tutor, close to tears, who told her to go and look at the first list. And this was a girl who did not know if she was good enough! We were over the moon, but she said to us - please don't tell anyone because she was embarrassed about it and thought it was a fluke! We are the proudest parents in the world!

And of course at Swansea she met and started to go out with Jonathan, a great guy who we all know adored and was adored by Em. We would like to say thank you Johnny, from the bottom of our hearts, for bringing Em such joy in the last 2 years. You have been through far too much for a guy of your age over the past few weeks, but I am sure that you are going to get the support from the many close family and friends that you have here today, and of course you are and will always remain a part of our family as well!

So after finishing at University these two great guys decided to take the trip of a lifetime before they started their careers. They needed to do this - they had worked very hard to get there. They toured South America - which we were worried about, but they had a great time doing this. They then arrived in New Zealand - which we were hugely relieved about and did some things that most of us have never done, and probably never will. And then things went terrible wrong. We obviously have issues with what took place, but it is right that the Police investigation needs to take place before any comments are made.

In NZ we received some amazing help from people - especially Johnny's cousins, one of whom is married to a Maori. They view life as ongoing and never refer to people that have died in the past tense. We want to do the same, so when you think of Em 'out of the blue' when you're working or playing in the future, maybe she is tapping you on the shoulder giving you some advise or just saying remember me?

In a way Emily has always been too much like me - with lots of good points! But she also inherited characteristics from her mother - in particular she can be very obstinate at times, of course unlike me, and that is why we sometimes argued about the most ridiculous things! I remember once having a 'sign language' disagreement with her whilst 30ft down, diving in the Maldives. As my diving buddy we needed to stay together, but she wanted to go in a different direction - of course she won and I had to follow! We had great fun there - diving and catamaran sailing which we enjoyed tipping up regularly.

Emily has always been so happy and competent on or in water - just 2 years ago we all spent a fantastic time in Croatia visiting some great islands. We all have many happy memories of this, although after 2 weeks neither Lucy, Alex or Sarah could tell the difference between a mainsail and a jib! I had to rely on Em to sail the boat with me the whole time - but she was always there to do it.

Also Em is an expert skier, although she did like to pose on the slopes. I know Lucy remembers well the time that Em landed on her after going over a jump, because she was posing and not looking where she was going.

Emily's sarcasm is of legendary proportion - as is her sister's. We felt so sorry for any boy about when Em and Lucy were on form - the Lads didn't stand a chance, and there's a few here today that know exactly what I mean!

Lucy has also told me about the time when she went to visit Em in Swansea. When out one night a boy spilt a drink on Lucy's new dress. Emily promptly poured a drink over his head - and then demanded two new drinks, which they promptly got!

Em can turn her hand to anything - a story that even Jonny does not know, and she will hit me for this, is that last year after the floods we experienced I determined to put in a land drain, that needed digging out. Em came out one Saturday and helped me dig a 30ft trench, and then make me promise not to tell anyone as it was not a job a girl should do!

Em had to have the last word in any discussion - but that is Emily, and annoyingly she is nearly always right. But this has made us love her more - we have all had some great telephone conversation over the past few months and have connected in a way that we did not believe would be possible.

Can we make any sense of Emily's death - not at the moment. It is all too raw, and there is no logical reason for Emily to leave us behind now, when she is so young, intelligent, compassionate and beautiful, and has so much more to give the world. So this is the question we have to struggle with? Maybe Emily is an old soul - she certainly acted that way throughout her life, with the things she did and her ability to be comfortable with herself and other people, of any age, in any situation? Maybe she has done all the things she needs to do on this earth and has been called to do something more important?

As someone said to us recently, many of the most beautiful flowers in the world last only a short time, but that does not mean that they don't bring great joy to the world whilst they are with us. And they are always remembered.

As a family we have changed dramatically in the last couple of weeks, with the apparent unfairness of what has happened. However what do we know about is the role that we all have to play, and the time that we have to do it? One thing is for sure - Emily never wasted a minute during the time she had - she could not have achieved more. We truly believe that Em was put on this earth to enable us all to stand back and look at what we are, instead of what we want, and make us become better people because of it. If she does that she will have achieved more than most of us do by living for many years longer. She touched so many peoples lives in a positive way - an incredible thing to do.

In the last two weeks we have also decided that we would like to set up a Foundation in Em's honour - The Emily Jordan Foundation. The aim of this will be to help young people who have not had the opportunities in life that they deserve - through learning or other difficulties. We want to focus on this because both Emily and Lucy have been actively involved with these individuals for many years, in all sorts of ways. There is a note in the Celebration booklet about this. We would like to ask you all here today to write your name down if you are interested in helping in this project - as this will be essential for it's success in the future.

And finally we, as a family, would like everyone here today to do something very special every year. At some time on May 12th - Emily's birthday - no matter where you are are what you are doing - we would like you to just spend a few minutes thinking about Em and what she meant to you, and how she changed your life, if only in a small way? This, we believe, is the way that Emily will live on with us in the future - in the same way that she is still with us now - but we just cannot touch her. We have all gained so much from her personality and joy of life, from her laugh and her smile and that ridiculous face that she used to pull to spoil the photo's. Her fantastic positive nature was inspirational, and her extraordinary wit and sense of humour made her just great to be with.

At the end of the day it is up to us to maintain the memory of Emily's short but full life, to produce good, positive results, and that's all we can ask for. I am sure that she will live on with us all for the rest of our own lives on this earth, and that we WILL all see her again one day.

Thank you.